Friday, October 9, 2009

Green Camaros

I'm sitting in a coffee shop in downtown Round Rock. Parked along the street outside there is a 1995 (I think) forest green Camaro. Remember when forest green was the "in" color? It was so popular you could get anything in forest green; sheets, towels, furniture, and even Camaros.

Anyway, this particular make and color of car brings back memories for me. Two of my friends in high school had forest green Camaros. Paula, who ended up being my sister-in-law, and one of my brother's best friends, Dale, both had Camaros of this particualr year and color. There were some slight differences in their cars. If I remember correctly, Paula's was a standard and Dale's an automatic, and I think Paula's had tan leather interior, and Dale's had gray cloth. But none of that is really all that improtant I suppose. Nevertheless, here are a few memories I have of riding in these particular cars.

First of all, I think I only ever rode in the back "seat" of both of cars, since chances are my brother was probaly in the front passenger seat of either car during these trips. I use the term "seat" loosely. "Shelf" may be a more appropriate term. I have one distinct memory from my perch atop each car's shelf.

At some point in the life of Dale's Camaro, which he affectionately named "Hot Rod", he installed a large subwoofer in the back. After installing said subwoofer he also obtained at least one CD completely comprised of bass. Sometime after this my friend Michelle and I had the privelege of riding on the shelf, very near the subwoofer, when Dale put the bass CD in. I don't know if you have ever had a simialr experience, but I could feel the bass to the core of my body. It was so intense, I think I begged him to turn it off. It was more than I could handle.

On another occassion, while on the shelf of Paula's Camaro, she decided to race Dale on the highway. All I really remember from this experience is that once I looked at the speedometer which was reading something over 100 miles an hour, I ducked my head and laid over on the seat, unwilling to watch us crash and die. Thankfully, nothing really happened, except, I'm pretty sure we beat old "Hot Rod" that night.

I realize this conversation about green Camaros is rather random, but it wouldn't be my blog without a little randomness every now and then.

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Camping in the Rain

This past weekend it FINALLY rained in central Texas! We have been experiencing drought conditions for quite awhile now, so the rain was much needed, and quite welcomed. It would have been almost completely perfect had not my family and I planned to be camping at Bastrop State Park this weekend. While it is true that we “camp” in a fully-equipped trailer, it is also true that most of our normal camping activities are inhibited by intermittent rain. Typically, my brother cooks the meat for all of our meals on the park provided grill/fire pit. Since this is what he usually does, this is what he had planned to do this weekend. On Friday night, it was my job to help him cook in the rain. What was my assigned task you ask? Why none other than to hold the umbrella over him and the pork chops which were hovering over the charcoal fire, while also attempting to stay somewhat dry myself. I can tell you, with certainty, that neither my brother nor I remained dry, but the pork chops did, and were actually cooked rather well. It was miraculous to say the least.

It rained off and on Friday night, and while it was overcast and damp on Saturday morning, it wasn’t actually raining, so we set out for a hike. It was quite a nice hike at the beginning. Not too hot, not too many drastic altitude changes, and quite beautiful. But things went downhill from there. Actually they went uphill to be more precise. It was still beautiful, it was slightly warmer, but there were drastic altitude changes. I did my best to keep up, but this overweight, asthmatic girl was certain she was on the cusp of passing out more than once. I honestly don’t know how many times I stopped to catch my breath and rest on the way up the crazy hill. Thankfully my compassionate daddy stopped with me every time. My brother offered to take my hand to help me up the hill at one point, but what he didn’t realize was, I didn’t need a hand, I needed a new lung and an instant liposuction.

Eventually I made it to the top. Huffing and puffing and gasping for air, I collapsed on the steps of this strange stone structure which on the map was labeled as a “kiosk”. I always thought a kiosk was one of those carts they sell stuff from in the middle of the hallway at the mall. But I digress. I didn’t actually care what this thing was called, only that it provided a much need respite from the hike of death. Incidentally, we were not the only people gathered in this area of the park. The kiosk was situated near the “Scenic Overlook” where a group of people were gathered. At first, I thought they were just having a church service, which was weird enough, but then I realized they were actually having a memorial service. Double weird. I mean, it was a beautiful place and all of that, but it was also a very public place.

Needless to say, we ate our snack, drank our weight in water and Gatorade, and set off on our return trip, which was thankfully downhill most of the way. There was a brief altitude change upward on the trip back to the campsite, at which time I turned to my brother, the leader of our happy pack, and told him that if we had to climb up one more hill, I was going to punch him. Thankfully I did not feel the need to deliver on that threat.

Two and three quarter miles later we made back to our campsite at which point it began to rain. And then it rained some more after lunch. And then it rained some more after that. And when I say it rained, what I really mean is it POURED. It was still raining when it came time to cook dinner, at which time my brother miraculously remembers that he has a small grill in his possession, and that he can use it to cook our hamburgers under the awning of the camper. I don’t know if you recall how we cooked the pork chops in the rain the night before, but I can assure you it did not involve COOKING UNDER AN AWNING!

Usually when we are camping we have a campfire in the evenings. My nieces love it, and it really is fun to sit around the fire together and roast marshmallows. But the rain squelched any hopes for a campfire during this trip. So my brother told my nieces they could roast marshmallows over the stove top of the camper. This sounds like a nice alternative, right? It was nice, right up until the moment when my sister-in-law’s roasted marshmallow flew off her roasting fork and into the hair of my five year old niece Megan. Megan was relatively ok. Her hair was all gummed up with melted marshmallow, and there was a very small, slight burn on her cheek, but otherwise she was ok. She didn’t even cry, which is quite miraculous. Thankfully it was bath time right after marshmallow roasting, so she was good as new in no time, with only a slight pink circle on her cheek to show anything had happened.

It rained more Saturday night, but I think I slept through most of it. The hike of death had worn me out. I awoke Sunday morning to my niece Megan wanting out of bed. This may be a good time to tell you that I sleep in a room with my three nieces when we are camping. Emily sleeps above me, and is big enough now, with long enough legs to climb in and out of her bunk bed on her own. Megan, who sleeps in the top bunk across from her, is not. By the way, there are no ladders for these bunk beds, so, when Megan wants down in the mornings, she calls for me until I sleepily climb off my bed on the floor and gather the strength to stand to my feet and lift her down. Depending on what time my nieces wake up, I usually have 15-30 minutes with them, before their mom and dad are out of bed. On this particular Sunday morning, I had the joy of lying in my bed with my older two nieces, Emily and Megan, watching the blue screen on their small bedroom TV. Why would you watch a blue screen you ask? Why, to wait for the sleep timer to turn it off, of course. This particular TV was unable to receive any channels, so all we had was the blue screen. Now to you and me, a sleep timer on a TV is mundane and ordinary. But to a 7 year old and a 5 year old who have never experienced a sleep timer, it is exciting to watch it count down. For me, the only excitement there was concerning the sleep timer was when their mom came in with 2 minutes left on the timer and almost turned the TV off without knowing the chaos she was about to cause. Thankfully I cut her off at the pass and they were able to watch the TV turn itself off. Without question, it was a grand morning in the bunkhouse of joy.

All I can say about our camping trip in the rain is that it could have been worse. There were people who were tent camping in the same conditions. I gotta tell you, if that had been the plan for our weekend, I would have bailed before I was even supposed to leave my house.

Tuesday, September 1, 2009

Some Recent Thoughts

For the last few days I have been seriously considering the possibility that my main issue is I want things I know I can't have. Well, duh. What I is that, maybe I just want those things so much right now, because I know that I can't have them right now.

Sometimes I think my brain confuses the concept of "right now" and "ever" and that causes me to be very discouraged. I am trying to remind myself that just because something is a certain way now, doesn't mean that it will be that way forever. I am trying to live more in the moment that in the uncertainty of the future. It's hard for me, but I'm trying.

I'm a planner, so for there to only be a day by day or weeek by week plan, frustrates me. I want to see and plan for years in advance, but unfortunately I can't.

"If God gives such attention to the appearance of wildflowers—most of which are never even seen—don't you think he'll attend to you, take pride in you, do his best for you? What I'm trying to do here is to get you to relax, to not be so preoccupied with getting, so you can respond to God's giving. People who don't know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep your life in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. Don't worry about missing out. You'll find all your everyday human concerns will be met.

Give your entire attention to what God is doing right now, and don't get worked up about what may or may not happen tomorrow. God will help you deal with whatever hard things come up when the time comes."

Matthew 6:30-34 (MSG)


One funny occurrence in the last week or so...I went to IKEA the other day, to browse and to get a new 2010 catalog. I was so excited about getting the catalog that I must have just lost all conscious thought, because when I got home I realized I had picked up a Spanish IKEA catalog! The pictures are all the same, and I can make out some of the words thanks to all those days of Spanish class in high school and college, but it's just not quite the same.

Tuesday, August 18, 2009

Warning: You May Find this to Be Depressing

I wish I could write about some funny things that have happened recently, but not a lot of funny things are happening. The last month or so has been difficult, to say the least. Sometimes I hesitate to write about my struggles or difficult moments, because my prideful heart thinks there is an image to maintain. Somewhere along the way, I convinced myself that I have to be perfect and always funny. The truth is though, I am neither of those things, and writing is somewhat therapeutic for me. I have decided it really is ok for people who care about me to know where I'm at and how I'm doing. So, with that said, I will tell you these things.

In July I spent a week in Missouri, mostly at the hospital, with my grandma, who is dying. It feels strange to even type those words, but it is true. It started with pneumonia and while the pneumonia is gone, it has left her body weak and depleted, beyond a point of recovery. She is at home now, with hospice care, and my mom is there with her, helping to care for her. For the most part, she is still my grandma in thought and speech--sharp and wise and funny--but she is now almost completely inactive and spends most of her days sitting in a recliner. Some days it is hard for me to comprehend that she is slowly dying, and other days, the reality of it comes rushing into my heart more quickly and forcefully than I can deal with. It is a strange place to find yourself in when you want more than anything for someone to be at peace and in heaven with Jesus, while simultaneously longing for more days to spend with them.

I find that I am making it through most days without dwelling on my grandma's condition, but true to form, if I'm not dwelling on the heaviness of that situation, I am dwelling on something else that has been plaguing me for a while now.

I thought that by the time I was 31 years old (uggh...31), I would have a better life plan, but so far, I find myself questioning, on almost a daily basis, where my life is going, and if it is anywhere close to on course. Most days, I like my job. There are difficult moments to be sure, but overall it is a pretty good job. I do not however see myself doing this long term, maybe for a couple more years at the most. Which leads me to, well, what then? If not this, then what?

The truth is, that I am growing weary of dealing with other people's problems. That probably sounds really terrible, but it's the truth. And the worst part of it is, I have a feeling that somehow I will never escape this, that on some level, people will always come to me with their problems.

Some days I even think that I don't want to be involved in ministry anymore. But I'm not sure I can turn it off. Truthfully, even when I am not faithful, I still find myself involved in ministering to others and being used by the Lord, even when I could care less if I'm being used of not.

And then there are these nagging desires that I have, desires that I know will never be fulfilled as long as I continue in the job that I have now. I admit, they are eternally insignificant and perhaps simply selfish, but they are nevertheless, very real. I want to have my own house someday and I really want to have a dog. Currently, my job is an in residence only kind of job, and we are not allowed to have pets.

I suppose these desires may change, but for now, I'm clinging to them pretty tightly. Some days I feel like they are the only desires I haven't already given up on.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Fertilizer, Gunpowder and Mascara

Any guesses what these three things have in common? I'll give you a hint: it has something to do with bats.

That's right I said bats. And as you might have guessed I am not referring the baseball variety, but rather to the strange, winged mammals I went to see last night.

There is a bridge in Austin (the Congress Ave bridge to be exact) which houses the largest urban bat colony in the United States (or is it the world?). Well, whatever the case, it is a HUGE amount of bats. It was quite a sight.

So, anyway, I, along with some pals from work, went on this "tour boat" to see the bats on their nightly exit from the bridge. They leave around the same time every night to go hunt insects. And every time you thought, surely that's all of them, a whole other herd of bats would come fluttering out from underneath the bridge. They were coming out right at sunset last night so from time to time their wings would catch the sunlight and from far away they looked like glitter floating in the sky. Who would have thought bats could be beautiful? I actually thought that last night, and this was even after one had pooped on my leg! No big deal though, the poo landed on my pants, not my bare skin and it was so tiny, it was hardly noticeable. It was easily flicked off and thankfully my friend Cristy had some antibacterial stuff with her, so all was well.

Now, you may have figured out the riddle, but in case you haven't here is the answer: fertilizer, gunpowder and mascara are all things that bat guano (poo!) is used to make.

I have to say, I hesitated a little this morning before putting my mascara on, but I decided that I love mascara way too much to give it up. Besides, surely it is sanitized in some way before it makes onto my mascara wand, right?

Monday, June 1, 2009

The Haunting on the Hill

In case you don't know, my house sits on a small hill. It's a beautiful house and it's a beautiful hill.

The things happening inside though, are not so beautiful. My clients are convinced that we have ghosts. I however, since I don't really believe in ghosts, don't know what to make of these strange occurrences.

Cabinet doors and kitchen drawers are coming open on their own. Children are afraid to go to sleep at night. People have seen what they think are ghosts. There's more to it, but I can't divulge too much about people's personal lives.

Honestly, it's all a bit creepy, but after consulting some people who are wiser than me, I have concluded that if it is anything non-human, it is probably a demon.

For some strange reason that makes me less uncomfortable than the idea of the ghost of some dead person.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm still scared out of my wits. I mean, let's face it, I'm afraid of the dark even when I don't think there could possibly be anything harmful in the dark. When you think there could be something harmful in the dark, the fear kicks up a few notches.

And I am aware that demons are nothing to be trifled with. But I am also aware of the power of God. So I'm choosing to pray and trust Him.

And to leave the lights on. All night.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Random Rundown

If you haven't heard from me in awhile, there are some reasons for that, but I'm working on those things, so hopefully you will hear from me more often in the near future. What are those things? Well, to be honest, I'm not sure I can even name all of them, and even if I could they wouldn't make for very fun blog reading. So instead of the heaviness of those things, let's talk about some other more fun things.

Over the last several weeks I have spent lots of time with my family, which has been really good. This last weekend we went camping, and had lots of time to relax. I also acquired several ant and mosquito bites, but it was nice to sit by the lake, play games, read, watch the deer run by our campsite and all the other fun things you do when you're camping. But...I was quite grateful for my bed last night, and for the feeling of clean hair this morning. While we do have beds in the camper, it's nothing like my bed. Not to mention, every time I roll over on my bed in the camper, I am pretty certain the whole camper shakes and moves from side to side. And while we do usually shower at least once while we are camping, I never really feel clean, so even though I showered, my hair still felt gross.

I have also been reading more the last several weeks, which I think has been good for my brain, even though I am mostly reading fiction. When I watch a lot of TV for a long amount of time, I feel like my brain gets sluggish. Probably just me being crazy, but nonetheless, I am enjoying reading Jan Karon's Mitford series right now. I'm on the fifth book and had the silly notion that I was almost done with the series, but alas, I think there are at least 3 or 4 more after this. I don't usually enjoy Christian fiction very much, usually too cheesy, but Mitford is a little better.

I finished up my ladies' Bible study a few weeks ago, and I am missing teaching. I think I may start a Bible study just for the clients in my house, but I can't decide what to teach. Maybe women of the Bible.

For the last week I have only had hot water in my house every other day or so. Lovely. Hopefully today it is getting fixed for real and not just patched over. Also last week I didn't have internet for a couple of days. I thought it was fixed but last night I realized it is out again. Double lovely.

Because the internet access in my house is crazy, I have been bringing my laptop to a great little English coffee house on Main Street here in town. I must tell you that I just finished up an awesome cup of coffee and a fabulous scone with strawberry preserves. Yummy! I really like this little coffee shop. If you come visit me, remind me to bring you here.